Energy (Life) Follows Thought...

It's been a very long time since I've blogged.  The past several months have been laden with a number of growth opportunities and wonder-filled changes - I'll write more about that at a later time.  For now, I couldn't allow this moment to pass without sharing with you a blog that my husband, Spencer Murray, wrote about the power of our thoughts and the words that we speak.  His subject - President Obama.  

A  Question of Priorities

With all of the talk going on about our President neglecting the needs of the black community, I felt compelled to offer a few thoughts of my own.   I’d first like to remind everyone of the principal that simply states…whatever you focus on, continues to grow.  It is in this spirit that I write this commentary.  We must first come to know that all circumstances are the result of sustained focus on an idea.  With this in mind, I have to ask myself, why would the President of the United States, particularly one who understands the culture of poverty among people of color, focus on poverty rather than Prosperity. 

We are all too familiar with the needs of the least of ours, but the best way to raise the consciousness-and consciousness is where it all starts - is to stop affirming poverty and start promoting prosperity.   President Obama and The First Lady are clearly attempting to do just that.  Perhaps those who do not recognize their efforts are not seeing clearly themselves.   I wholeheartedly agree with Steve Harvey when he questioned the need for a Poverty Bus Tour.  Why not have a Prosperity Bus Tour?  Better yet, why haven’t or why didn’t these same people who put so much energy into accusing our President of negligence, put the same amount of passion and energy into  recalling those who are the authors  of failed policies for those in need.

As for the black community, our energies would be better spent on investing in initiatives that serve to empower our people than to affirm our current condition.  Progress is not about doing the same thing better!   Let’s take the snapshots of our past and create a better vision for tomorrow…a vision that’s founded on individual responsibility, initiative, and most of all…a love of Self. 

Some things we must do for ourselves!!!

Karma Principle Number 6 - The Principle of Synchronicity: “All things are perfectly equal in the Universe.”

I do everything that I’m supposed to do.  I do everything “right”.   I follow all the right rules, I went to the right schools, I’m active in the right organizations, I live in the right neighborhood, I drive the right car, I’m active in my church/synagogue/mosque and volunteer my time in the community.  Then, why am I so unhappy?  Why don’t I have a healthy relationship?  Why can’t I go on a decent date?  Why am I so unfulfilled?  Why don’t I feel right? 

Do these statements sound familiar to you?  An epidemic of women are feeling miserable and out of sorts because of the ingrained belief that checking all the “right” boxes in life will bring the desires of their heart - it doesn’t.

I, like many of you, thought if I did everything mainstream society and the church told me to do I would be happy.  I allowed “checked boxes” to run my life and dictate my success. When I woke up one day in an unhappy marriage and subsequent divorce, I realized I was living my life from the outside in, not the inside out.  The amazing truth that I discovered is that regardless of what I choose to experience in life, all things are always perfectly equal in the universe.  Put another way, we always have a choice to jump off the merry-go-round of outside influences and listen to the still, small voice within. 

I believe in a universal power and presence that is greater than all of us. It speaks in a still, small voice and countless other ways.  The universe is constantly shaping itself to communicate with us. You may call this intuition, a gut feeling or a synchronicity of events.  We all have the power to be mindful of this communication and allow it to speak with us.  It may speak through a billboard sign, a song, a TV commercial, numbers, dreams, children, a nemesis; it has an awesome sense of humor! 

The key – use the synchronicity of communication as a life guidance system.  It’s always talking to you.  Many of us reflect on how the universe tried to direct our path after we chose to ignore the guidance.  You know, all those times you said, “Something told me that…”  C’mon, I know I’m not the only that’s been there!

You can have the desires of your heart.  The universe doesn’t bless some and not others.  Your desire is a preview of what Spirit has for you.  Get out of your own way and listen, be mindful, tune into the synchronicity of life. 

Until next time!

Black Women Discuss Relationships in the "D"...

Women and men alike seem to never run out of things to say when it comes to the topic of RELATIONSHIPS.  Just the mention of the word probably has brought up mental images and emotions for you. 

I'm glad I had the opportunity to be a part of B.L.A.C. Magazine's women's roundtable on the state of black relationships in Detroit.  We represented various experiences:  married, happily divorced, single and want to be married, in relationship with no desire to be married and divorced and happily remarried (that's me!). 

The conversation was revealing and healing.  I applaud BLAC's editor, Lori S. Robinson, for continuing to stay true to writing about real conversations.  I look forward to next month's issue when we'll get to hear from the men. 

Until then, make sure to check out the article and click on the video to get a taste of our conversation.  You are sure to relate regardless of race or relationship status.  I'm interested in learning the thoughts, feelings and emotions that come up for you.  I want to hear from you!  Oh, and make sure to check out BLAC's new website!  It's full of nourishment for your soul...

Until we meet again!

Karma Principle Number 5 - The Principle of the Mirrors: “All your life reflects your image of you.”

Look at yourself in a mirror.  Don’t look at yourself the way you do when you’re doing things like washing your face, putting on make-up or styling your hair.  I mean, really look at YOU in the mirror.  Look inside your eyes – penetrate them.  What do you see?  Who do you see reflected back?  What feelings and emotions come up for you?  This is a deep exercise that, although simple to do, can be life changing. 

Just as you see your physical reflection in a mirror - eyes, hair, mouth and nose - you also “see” your life experiences.  They come to the surface for you, if you allow them.  Your experiences reflect what you see in the mirror.  If your life’s experience has brought a lot of insecure people, then ask yourself what are your insecurities.  If you’ve dated your share of lying, cheating men, ask yourself what are your distrust issues.  Here’s the real deal – the way you’ve been treated has nothing to do with other people.  To quote my husband, the world will always take you at your estimation of yourself.  Put different, “All your life reflects your image of you.”

We see ourselves based on our judgments about others.  Like, if you judge other women’s bodies, you’re judgmental of your own body.  Your judgment is simply a reflection of your own thoughts.    

I just heard someone say, “OUCH!”… Oh wait, that was me!

Recently I was confronted with a situation that felt familiar to me.  I began feeling like I had to “tiptoe” around the way I said things to a very dear friend of mine because I didn’t want to hurt her feelings.  Since this was a déjà vu experience for me, I knew the experience wasn’t about her, it was about me!  OUCH!  Using the Principle of Mirrors, I asked myself, how am I tiptoeing around with me?   My answers are coming up loud and clear…they’ve said that I tiptoe when I talk to myself in order to protect my feelings and not face the truth about me.  Until now, I didn’t want to look at those deeper sides of myself that I didn’t see as “perfect.” 

We cannot love and accept ourselves while suppressing parts of ourselves.  It’s impossible.  The key is to be an observer of our behavior and not judge what we see as right and wrong or good and bad. 

It’s been hard talking to myself straight with no-chaser, however, since I’m committed to self-growth and expansion, that’s the choice I’ve made. 

Won’t you join me?

Until we meet again!

Karma Principle Number 4 - The Principle of Growth: “Wherever you go, there you are. You cannot avoid you.”

“You’re It!”  

Remember playing the game hide-and-go-seek when you were a child?  It was so much fun! There are different versions of the game, all pointing to the same gist of the game.  The one person who is “It” counts to 10 while the other people hide.  After “It” gets to ten, she/he starts looking for the hidden players.  The goal for the other players is not to be found and tagged by the “It” person.  Their aim is to touch the home base (with my friends, usually a tree or car) without being tagged.  If “It” tags no hiders during the game, they are “It” again in the next game.

We can learn a lot from this childhood game.  It’s the game of life.  Instead of playing with friends, we hide-and-go-seek from ourselves.  We don’t realize we‘re doing it. Usually it’s subconscious.  We hide from self in relationships, our career, our children, extra-curricular activities, sex, alcohol, religion…you name it, we hide.  We attempt to find ourselves, too, because there’s a sacred place inside of us that nudges us to look deeper within – to connect with our divine nature.  We do things like take classes, read books, attend church, join support groups, and develop a spiritual practice.  Then, at moments we touch the proverbial base and assume we are safe. This makes it easier for us to judge, criticize and point the finger at others and not look at self.  It appears to be safer to point the finger elsewhere.

Regardless if you’re hiding, seeking or touching the proverbial base, wherever you go, there you are. You cannot avoid you.  You are the common denominator in all of your experiences.  With that, comes the recognition of just how powerful you are!  YOU have the power to be an observer of your behavior and thoughts.  Set the alarm on your cell phone to ring once or twice a day.  Observe your thoughts and actions in that moment.  What are you thinking about?  Are your thoughts critical and judgmental, or compassionate and uplifting?  Do you feel good about your thoughts, or not so good?  Change what’s not working for you.

We all play the game hide-and-go-seek.  Commit to being more intentional with where you spend your time in the game of life.

Until next time!